


Vitreous

by ChucklesTheMime



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Other, rikasa, rivamika
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:24:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3882211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChucklesTheMime/pseuds/ChucklesTheMime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is a Biology, Chemistry and Literature professor. Mikasa is a student in his class. They both have their own reputations in the campus. They have caught each others eye and became curious about one another. The curiosity brew and grew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***Chapter 1 serves as a prologue of sorts. The succeeding chapters are subject to change in format

In class...  
=======================

 

Professor Levi. They all gossip about you. Throw insults behind your back. Yet I could never bring myself to ever think of you that way. I've always had this respect for you.

Indeed, you were fascinating to me. Even more as I kept bumping into you all the time. What the hell are the odds? I could have sworn you would have been following me. But why would you? I wasn't anyone significant.  
And most of all...  
I was only your student.

As our paths kept crossing, my mind started taking notes. Even more than I did in your classes. And your class was the only one that I have complete notes of. It was a particularly amazing thing that you happened to have expertise on my favorite subjects. And you have wits beyond measure. I found myself slowly being captivated by your presence. And through time, fascination...  
...became enticement.

I tried to quit you cold-turkey. But how the hell was that possible?  
Not only are you my teacher. You stand behind my back all the time.  
Sometimes I'd like to believe you were doing this on purpose. I don't believe that coincidences can happen this often.

Your presence is heavy. It is as if you are some big stage light, I wont dare look up at, or dare risk being struck blind. Often as I hung my head down, it was necessary when you are close.

Finally, you walked toward the other corner. I can finally dare to look at you. You're not tall. I'm even a bit taller than you are. Your hair was dark like mine, but in a different shade. Your hair was so deep and dark, I swear it has a glint of blue in it. Your eyes were playing between being dark and cold, and bright and pale. A shade of blue I never saw on anyone else.

The gems you wear as eyes then turned and looked toward me. I was startled. I held on. Seeing if I'd burn if I stared too long. Suddenly, I could not bare it. It became hard to breathe. I had to turn away.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Mikasa Ackerman. I always see you with your head down. Hiding your face. Looking glum. You were a curious little thing. So very curious.

See, I never take much notice people that I handle. Because every year, there is that possibility that they would not return. It was a cycle. A cycle that was part of my life.

But you. Yes. The ever elusive you. You were always a little odd. You were usually center of the attention of your classmates. Rarely positive, unfortunately. But thing is, positive or negative attention, it seems no one gets how obvious it is that you didn't want any. Even with that ever present scowl on your face, they never notice how much it irks you to be "seen". Well... Either that, or they know it and enjoy tormenting you. But no one has real proof of that, right?

You were such a curiosity, I wasn't noticing that I accidentally happen to gravitate toward you whenever you are close by. Lucky, I'm not a cat. You know what they say. I always end up near by you when I'm on idle time during activities.  
Suddenly, the accidents became a habit.  
Habit, became instinct.  
And curiosity...  
Became interest.

Most of our classes, I tend to linger in the back corner of the room. Sure, it was a perfect spot to see all of you students, to spy if you are doing what you are supposed to. But I knew as time went by, I stood and tallied there because it was where I can be near you.

I went on and checked on the other students. Eren was loud as per, usual. Chatting up another student instead of taking down the notes on the board. Armin was panicking as he saw me coming toward them. Soon, your green-eyed adoptive brother noticed my presence and finally shut up.

I tried to take control. I did. There was the matter of being "appropriate". Then again. My rumored reputation might snuff the wildfire that may occur if my unintentionally odd actions are noticed. Those rumors... I wonder if you believe them too... If then... ...

I turned my gaze toward you. Our gaze locked and you did not turn away. We're you looking at me too? I held on for a bit, then you turned away. You baffle me.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, the cogwheels start turning. The dice is cast. (Mikasa POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Real sorry this took so long. It took a while because I struggled with the format. I kept revising the hell out of it. Even right before posting it here.  
> See, I have the story fleshed out til it's end. But getting it out and typing it out into good material can be a struggle. ;w;  
> Anyway, here it goes. Hope you enjoy. ***
> 
> ***Chapter 3 will be coming faster than this one. It will follow in a few days.***

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

See, the first time you taught us class, I didn't give much of a thought about you. I did look, though. I watched. I observed. I credited it to curiosity. But that particular day, when you actually let me see through a tiny crack in your facade. My attention for you flared from a spark. It ignited. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was when classes were suspended and our class was going on, but no one could go home because of how hard the rain was. You actually spoke up about something that was not about our class. I could almost call it a rant if you were more energetic when you were at it. But as ever, you were composed. 

You decided that you'd handle us, since our adviser was absent that day. And you stopped our lessons shortly after the announcement. After dictating the assignment, you leaned back onto the teacher's desk and told us to do as we please, provided we would not be too noisy lest we want to get hit by chalk. We expected you to leave or just sit down and do some reading. But you spoke. 

You told us that the whole thing was stupid. It was autumn and rain was inevitable. Storms, even. They should have announced the cancellation of classes, the night before. That they should not waste the time of people and risk their safety. That this was a fakakta blunder and you were going to Principal Erwin and go all over his ass about this. You said that the principal had his own damned brain and did not have to rely on the national cancellation. If he knew that the weather would be bad, he should have made a call already. He watches the news all the time after all.

Some fell dead silent when you started opening your mouth and those words flowed out. You have never talked this much about something totally unrelated to class. A few recovered and actually managed to nod and react. Armin and I were just watching. I realized, there was a human being inside all that statuesque facade of yours, after all. Save for your occasional outbursts and the chalk target practice when students are lollygagging during class and you happen to catch them. 

Later on, the rain settled enough that we were finally allowed to go home. The news said it was bound to rain for the rest of the night though. And it would be announced if there are going to be classes tomorrow.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Eren went out with the guys for console games at Jean's. I made sure that brother of mine had a jacket and umbrella on him. He was reckless enough by default. At least, I could make sure he would be careful with at least one thing. Plus, I had Armin to back me up about it. I made him go home and change before heading out. Armin stayed with me. He was not up to games and he was pretty sure it will be too crazy over there. He did promise Eren to go next time. I knew, he was mostly just concerned about me being here alone at home. I do not have many friends after all. 

As I served him tea and our store-bought snacks. We started discussing the events in class. Armin told me that, although you put it harshly, your argument was on point. I agreed with him. I myself hate wasting time. And very much so, when it could have been avoided. Armin kept on talking as my thoughts drifted elsewhere.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As we were walking home, Eren, Armin and I stopped over the cafe to grab some snacks to take home. From the windows there, I saw... You.

I didn't tell Eren, nor Armin, of course. And it was just a swift moment. But somehow, my mind took in... ...well, a lot.

Professor Levi Ackerman. Stopping for a moment whilst in the midst of walking home to check his watch. Hair, immaculately falls back into place no matter how harsh the wind was. Holding an umbrella with such precise steadiness, as if you were ready to release it open before even a drop of rain hits you. You had your coat on. The dark green one you seemed to prefer. I knew enough to know you do not wear it for vanity. But it brought out the pale of your skin, nicely. And it somehow goes with the rest of your get-ups. The palette of dark and austere colors, strangely vibrant as a whole. 

Your gait was steady and smooth. Your gaze was steadily on the path you were on. Smoothly and effortlessly avoiding the other passersby. Walking through puddles, amazingly not causing any splashes. Really sure-footed. It made me wonder if your movements were of natural poise, or of conscious practice. Or perhaps, something more.

You did not look light-in-the-loafers, as whispered by some that you are. Not that I would care about that. As a person, whether that was true about you or not, it was fine to me. Not that my opinion matters, or anything. But to me, you looked like a calm and collected man. Who knows what he is, and did not give a rat's ass what people thought of him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Mikasa."

 

"---What?" I snapped out of my trance. Shit. How long was I spacing out?

 

"You're thinking about him, aren't you? I saw him pass by, too."

 

"What?... Who?"

 

Armin gave me a knowing smile. "Professor Ackerman. I saw him pass by in front of the coffee shop while we were in it. Whilst Eren could not decide what to bring over at Jean's."

 

"...What makes you think I was thinking of him?" Somehow, my heart was pounding. This is insane.

 

"Because just now, you had that same look on your face as when you were looking at him from inside the shop."

 

". . ." A look...? On my face?

 

"Honestly, you also seemed to focus on him more during class. I mean more than you used to. Lately, it seems you have been observing him."

 

"Have I? Wait, are those changes in me such obvious things???" My eyes widened in horror at the thought of people other than my best friend noticing these changes before I did.

 

Armin laughed and gave me a pat on the hand to reassure me. "Don't worry. It is not an obvious thing. I think I am the only one who has noticed. Eren probably has no idea."

 

"But... ...even I did not realize I was looking at him, that much. How did you...?"

 

Armin put a hand under his chin and propped his elbow on the table. "I sit beside you in every class, Mikasa. And you almost never change your ways about anything you do. Not since I met you and Eren. But a few weeks into class, something did. You sparked interest on something more than taking care of Eren and looking out for me. More than your books and your workouts. Professor Ackerman."

 

I could feel blood rush into my face.

 

"You almost never react to things, but lately? Your shoulders grow a tad tense when he stands behind us during class. Given, that was always his usual spot. You were never like that before. They were just the little things. At plain sight, you are stoic as ever."

 

"I dunno... I just started being a bit curious about him. He is an odd fellow, you know? Clean freak... Control freak. Sure, he is an excellent teacher, but he is a weirdo. I am pretty sure I am not the only one who thinks that."

 

"...What color were his cuff-links today, Mikasa?"

 

"Green. Dark ones." I stopped midway from sipping some of my tea as I realized what I just blurted out.

 

"People don't just unconsciously get curious and space out thinking about a particular person, Mikasa. Especially taking note of the little things. Things that you would only know if you were looking."

 

"...Maybe I'm just really observant."

 

"What jacket did you make Eren bring today?"

 

". . ."

 

"See. You don't remember. That was just, what? An hour ago? Or two? And this is Eren we are talking about." Armin goes and takes a bite out of a cookie.

 

"Where are you going with this, Armin." I think my blood is turning to ice.

 

"What I'm saying is, you're probably starting to like him... I think you like Professor Ackerman."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologize for the sudden hiatus. RL got out of hand. I had some adult-ing to do... My health was not the best. And, as I work upon inspiration impulses, the bouts of depression during the past months got to me. 
> 
> I compensate now by giving you both chapters 3 and 4. Chapter 5 is in the works and shall follow shortly. The story is already pretty much fleshed out and I am finding the best way to convey it... 
> 
> Thank you to those still reading...

We'll be having your class today...  
Will you keep tallying near my corner...?  
...not that it was MY corner.

When I think about it, when you go and stand there, that is the closest I have ever gone near to you. 

It didn't bother me that we had the same last name. I mean, it's a big world. It wasn't impossible to find someone who shares the same last name as you do. What bothered me was how little tidbits like that make me even more curious about you. God. I can even scent you from a few meters away now. Ah... Well, that one bit, I pray, that Armin never notices. I wasn't the only one who can, anyway... It was your own damned fault. You're known as a clean-freak. But being a walking air-freshener? What the hell are you? That's just absurd. No man should be that clean and smell that nice. It's no wonder there are rumors about your true sexual orientation. They even link you to Principal Smith. Ah... I would be a liar if I say I did not get my share of amusement from those gossips.

You gave us a pop quiz. Whilst most groaned and muttered some complaints like how much of a jerk they thought you were. What kind of teacher would give a pop quiz after how a lot of classes were cancelled due to the bad weather. Fools forgot how sharp you were. You heard them and you spoke up.

"If you pay attention to our damned classes, there should be no problem for you to get through this quiz. Is there? Your brains were put in your head to use for thinking and learning. Not as a paper weight so your heads wont float away off your necks when the damned wind blows. Now. Shall we?" 

With that, the class fell silent. Whiners were chastised. The only sound left was soft flapping from the questionnaires being passed around, the faint scratching of the pens against the answer sheets... ...and the sound of your footsteps as you went to the back of the room and stood behind me.

Was it just me? ...I felt as if your cold, steely eyes were piercing through my back. I cannot dare check to see. Not because you would scold me. I just... ...didn't think I would be able to stand your eyes locking into mine. Your steel gaze will surely pierce through my armor. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Armin and I were walking home. Eren went out with the guys again... Allegedly to the mall to look at new games. Armin and I knew it was only Eren's way of 'discreetly'stalking Annie. Which was of total disinterest to Armin. Although... Armin has told me long ago why it became unamusing to him. He has moved on. But he did not want to risk getting hurt at the sight. So, the two of us decided to start on that series we were planning to watch for a long time.

And then I saw you. I didn't see you leave school. You usually leave an hour after classes end. We once joked that it was probably because you reorganize the whole faculty room before leaving. It stemmed from after the first few times you made us clean the classroom upon walking into it and deeming it a shithole. We sort of learned from then. The classroom was almost always neat nowadays. But of course, your standards very much differ to us normal human beings.

It was obvious you have already been home. Your get up has changed. You were dressed impeccably. Turtle-neck in a nice shade of soft grey. A dark, charcoal coat. And a very classy looking pair of black slacks. The whole outfit complemented your elegant severity. 

Ah... From far away, looking at you is soothing and exciting to me. I can never do this up close. I think my stoic facade will be sure to crack.

...

I snapped back to reality as I saw a silver car pull up in front of the curb you were standing on. A woman with light auburn hair was at the drivers seat. You flawlessly opened the door to the passenger side and slid in. She smiled at you shyly and you gave her a soft expression as you mouthed some words. Finally... ...the car drove off.

Forget snapping. I was struck. Thunderstruck. A cold vise gripped my heart. I could not find my voice as Armin asked me if I was alright. We made our way home in silence.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The only sound in the room was the series I was barely watching, and the drumbeats of my heart.

"...Armin."

"Yeah?"

My mind replayed the scene with him getting into the car with that woman.

"Mikasa...?"

I felt something wet and warm on my face. MY breathing growing heavier.

"I think you're right. I do like him." I cried.

And that was the moment Eren chose to arrive home. Shit.


	4. Chapter 4

Eren caught me crying... I contemplated lying to him about it. But knowing him, he will pry. So, Armin helped me tell him the situation as I was still crying. I made it clear that I had just discovered my true feelings. And I was not really planning on acting upon it. Much to his credit, he did not flip out.

"I am not really comfortable with this Mikasa. I know that these are just feelings for now... But isn't this really complicated?... But if that is how you feel... Well... I just don't want you to get hurt."

"A moth wouldn't get hurt if it doesn't touch the flame, would it?" I sniffed and wiped the remnants of my tears and mustered up a chuckle.

"Well, just don't fly too close." Eren huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"She'll have us watching her back, anyway." Armin chimed in as he brought tea and cookies from the kitchen.

"Thank you." Accepting a cup, I smiled at Armin.

"...Wow. Suddenly it's sinking in that you have feelings for the most feared Professor in campus. This is amazing and appalling at the same time." Eren spoke up and started laughing.

I threw a cookie at his face. It hit it's target on the forehead but the stupid target just picked it up from his lap, then ate it. 

"They share a few traits, Eren. So it isn't really surprising she got drawn to him. I heard some girls are attracted to him, but too scared to develop a real crush. And... Well..."

"..had issues with his height." Eren almost choked on a cookie as he laughed. Armin sighed and sank back in his seat. Though he was a little taller than the Professor, he was still shorter than me and Eren. "I think the gods took the gift of height from him as compromise to his wit, talents and strength. And the fact that he can be such a pain." Eren continued.

"...I never found him scary." I rebutted as I sipped some tea. The warmth spread in my chest, somehow soothing the ache a bit. "As for his height, well, umm... ...that I can kind of understand."

"...Well, some people are scared of you too. So you are probably the only student that would not get scared of him." Eren was not alien to the wrath of our Professor. He had a grudging respect for the fellow.

I shrugged at the remark that I was 'scary'. It was not a newsflash.

"Yeah. I mean, despite being in the short list of people in campus that nobody really wants to mess with, you two have your own stack of admirers."

"...I don't think I will ever be flattered by that kind of admiration." I sighed as I got up and went to the kitchen.

"Yeah. Poor Jean." Eren sneered.

"Shut up and just help me prepare dinner."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

How do I cope on the days we have both of your subjects? This is going to be the death of me.

As I accepted my true feelings... I grew a bit bolder. Greeting you whenever I had the chance. Reciting in class about double than I used to. (Okay. I barely recite before.) People are probably noticing. But their ideas would never venture near the truth lying beneath my actions. My bittersweet secret stays with my bestfriends and I. You possibly have someone, but that doesn't mean I can't like you... ...right?

It wasn't as if I was going to do anything. I will never make a move. It isn't even like me to interact this much with a person. I choose people I get close to. Thing was... This makes me afraid. I'm the moth to your flame. I wanna get too close... I know I would burn.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Days later  
============

 

After classes Armin disappeared for a bit and then later, texted me to meet with him at a cafe not too far from out home. He said he will wait for me and Eren there so we could go home together.

"Mikasa..." Armin waved as he was seated at the corner booth.

I found Armin and saw him with a small paper bag. I took a seat opposite to him and enjoyed the mingling scent of tea, chocoloate and coffee in the air. Shortly, Eren arrived.

"...? What's that?" Eren asked as he took a seat.

"It's for you." Armin pushed the thing towards me. "Open it."

I cocked and eyebrow at Armin as I accepted the thing. I carefully opened it and peered inside.

"It's..." There was an assortment of white and dark chocolate and a beautiful golden tin of rose black tea. The aroma coming from the bag was a stronger, yet more elegant version of the whole shop's. "What is this supposed to be?"

"A gift." Armin smiled.

"...My birthday has already passed, Armin."

"It's not from me."

"Wait? What??? Then who is it from???" Eren pressed as he looked for a card or any hint.

Armin pointedly looks beyond the shop window... Across he street... To a dark figure walking away. Eren's jaw dropped. My eyes widened and my arms moved on it's own and clutched the package close to my chest.

 

-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-

 

Ah. This is very unlike me...

I straightened my coat as I went on my way home. I walked with all my guards up.

...I think I am at the end of my line. I know there are protocols. I know this is insane. I know I should not even be thinking of anything even related to this. I can't help it anymore. 

I want to be close to you. But I have to keep things where they are. I can't break my own code. There are boundaries to be met and kept. Maybe I could just stick to these little things. 

In the class... In the campus... We will stay what we are. Maybe this will be enough for me. I don't expect you to be happy about it. You can throw those shit away if you do not want them. I just wanted to know if they reached you. I mean, who could blame you if you rejected those things. They are from a man practically twice your age. And of all things, your damned teacher. Who was known to be extremely harsh and strict. Not that I am ashamed of my strict methods. I take pride in my intolerance for slacking and half-assery.

Given my circulating reputations, I don't even really know how you thought of me. I am too realistic to expect that those few locked gazes of ours meant anything. I am too old to believe in crushes, "sparks" and "destiny". God knows my heart already rode that roller coaster and crashed hard. 

...I also knew that I had to try. I knew what I wanted. Mayhaps by doing following on these stupid ideas of mine, I will find out whether these are all just delusions. Then I can finally go and shelf these... ...feelings of mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> We finally get a sneak peek at Levi-sensei's mind, folks. And you'll be having some more of that in the succeeding chapters. (~owo)~


	5. Chapter 5

-  
It was after school hours and the library was closing in half an hour. Armin was in the reference section. Taking his pick of what to bring home for the weekend. His grandfather went to visit some relatives and he would be alone at home until when his grandfather comes back on Monday. That meant extra time to read between chores, unless he gets dragged into his friends' shenanigans...

"Arlert..."

He was smiling happily on his way to check out a few books. He barely caught the sound of his name being called out. And as he turned, he became alarmed when he saw who had called him.

Professor Ackerman. Levi Ackerman.

"Sir...?"

"I... ...would like to ask you for a favor. But I must request your discretion about the matter."

Armin's thick brows furrowed as he contemplated what that could mean. What dire task would Professor Ackerman would ever need help for? It was virtually unheard of. The man can do anything. Maybe something too petty for him to give his precious time to. Setting those curiosities aside, he focused himself on the task to be put ahead of him. He knew that although the Professor was often a scary man, he wouldn't request anything sinister.

"Alright, sir. What could I help you with?..."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Letting out a short sigh, Levi decided there was no turning back. He was doing this.

"I want you to deliver a package from me... ...To Ms. Ackerman..."

The surprise was imminent on his student's face as he handed over the package. It was a small paper bag. Dark green with silver accents. 

"Alright sir. I'll make sure she receives this. Umm... Is there anything else...?"

Oddly, it seemed to easy for Armin to accept the task. But then, Levi knew this student of his was not the type to pry. Nor blab his mouth. Nor even peek inside to see what he was couriering. It happened to be a bonus that he was the best friend of the recipient. 

"No... For now, all I need is your silence on the matter. Can I trust you with that?"

"Yes, sir... You have my word."

"Good..." Levi turned to leave... "Thank you, Arlert."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

What the hell am I doing here?

I could feel my eye twitch as I saw Yeager arrive with you.

I kept asking myself even if I knew. I wanted to be sure. I kept telling myself I didn't care whatever reaction you might have... But I wanted to see for myself. I saw your surprise. ...And it only led me to feel more confused. Panicked even. I did not want you to see me... I hoped you didn't... I turned away and left as quickly as I could... Reassuring myself with all sorts of shit as I made my way home. All shields up. As long as I can hold them, they are going to stay that way.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

This is worse than a hangover.  
What have I done?  
I had the weekend to compose myself. Where the hell did all that time go?

I went home with a whole smorgasbord of thoughts and terrible scenarios in my head. I wanted to dedicate myself to being the responsible adult in this situation. The situation I put my goddamned self in...

I know I want no regrets. But now I am starting to fear if she got freaked out. I am at war with myself here. Argh... I feel more ancient than I already am. The conflicting thoughts in my head got me taking my morning tea longer than usual. Thank god I have a steady routine with a lot of grace time. I have never been late this school year, and I have no plans to change that. I picked my outfit for the day. Black long-sleeved button-up, tucked. Charcoal grey vest. A black, suede blazer. ...and a pair of black jeans that border between formal and casual. I needed that extra bit of comfort. If I was this deep in my head about it away from my object of mental discord, what deeper mess would I be in the actual presence? I could not risk that. I had two classes with her today, after all... With her class, I mean. . . . Damn it.

Man up, Levi. You have a reputation to keep. You took a leap, and you are not allowed to fall flat on your goddamned face... 

Luckily, work is just a walking distance from home. Extra time to clear my head. I only need my car when I have to go elsewhere after work, anyway...

...And I ended up picking up something new to send. Great. Now how do I summon Arlert without anyone thinking I'm dealing with something illegal... Oh wait. Technically, I was.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Library  
=======

 

I don't know what to do next...

It was the exams and I had a free period. A rare chance in my working days. And I am spending it moping around and wallowing in stupid thoughts. I have already breezed through my work for the day because of my eagerness for distraction. So now, I am left with none.

Since the time I've been sending my little gifts, we interact more. But I don't really know what is beneath there. I was never the presumptuous type. I know it might be better if I don't try to find out. She seemed happy. I maintained my distance. That should be enough. But my chest feels heavy and I am restless... 

The library doors swung open. And a familiar swirl of red caught my eye...

Great. Spectacular.   
The greatest distraction in my life is alone with me in the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this came out so late. RL got me swamped in a lot of ways.
> 
> I have had this as a draft for so long. I kept revising it because I thought it was messy. But thing is, I wanted it to have an amount of mess that was just right. To convey the chaos in the character's mindset and feelings. Ah, I am rambling. 
> 
> I thank those who still read this fic. Thank you, thank you.
> 
> Chapter 6 will be up very soon. I shall try to dish out the next chapters faster. ;w;   
> Bear with me. Again, thank you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a while because I have been doing two chapters simultaneously and was struggling with the flow...  
> Here's me hoping I'm not dishing out garbage.  
> This was supposed to be out a week ago but my internet provider had been a scumbag.

Mikasa entered the library. She finished the exam ahead of her class and their homeroom adviser gave her leave to go. With a graceful steady gait, she headed towards the reference section. Straight to the aisle of where the mythology books were. He knew that, because he has been there many times before. When gathering etymologies became too tedious, he switched to the fairy tale version of it. Mythologies. A lot of words were born from them, after all. And they were long, gritty, artistically brutal tales. Their library had a great collection. So they had the ones simplified directly from Old English translations. Not just the versions some authors made to be more digestible for the masses. He would have loved to have some of those volumes for his own. But they were rare gems... As good as his usual Used Bookstore was, they wouldn't have it. He saw her disappear behind a shelf, into the corner. That also was the place where Levi first had a one on one conversation with her.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was after school hours. The school library closes at 6pm. So people had time to check out some books or do some reading before they head home. That afternoon, he walked in on her rearranging the books on the shelf. It was an odd occurence. Since, whenever he stumbles upon a student, he sees them messing it up instead. More often because they were so lazy to put the things back in their proper places. The books in that section were mostly thick, heavy and leather bound. The thinnest ones were two-inches thick. Apparently, the task was too hard for most of the lazy-ass brats. He always ends up having to tell the students that he'd better see them arrange the books in order before they leave. 

 

But that was nothing to Mikasa. She had a lean, solid build. And if rumors were to be believed, a fabled 8-pack. He's seen her carry huge loads of gym equipment on her own before. Often, with Kirschtein on her tail, offering help. Not that she needed any. You couldn't even see any signs of struggle in her. Admirable. The only other female student he's seen with that kind of resilience was Leonhardt. But Ackerman had been proven the superior of the two when they competed against each other in dodge ball back in their freshman year. 

He was the one to speak up first...

"Your fellow students would just opt to leave those alone. The librarians do their rounds and rearrange them before closing anyway." He proceeded to the neighboring shelf, scanning the spines for his take home read. He was checking out some material to spice up tomorrow's literature class.

She turned to give him a quick glance and returned to her task. "Just because the librarians would fix them, doesn't mean no one else should. People should clean up after their own mess." 

He let out a huff in amusement. "That entire shelf is unlikely to be only your doing, though..."

Shrugging, she replied. "It bothers me to look at it. And it is no hassle to me anyway. I have the time."

He was impressed. But showed nothing of it. "Not hanging out with your friends?" He slid out a cornflower blue volume...

"They had plans. I was not in the mood...---" She stopped, and realizing how casual she's been. She was talking to one of the Professors after all. He wasn't just teaching in their highschool. He also gave classes at the University. And they never really had a conversation before. "Umm... I think I'm done here."

"Not checking out anything?"

"...I already did some reading, earlier. I was just going to return the book here... And, well..." She glanced at the newly organized shelf.

"Ah."

"I have to head home, sir."

"Tomorrow in class, then."

And they nodded to each other in farewell.

 

====================================================================================

 

She came back out with a big, maroon volume. He knew that one. It was where the gods' exploits in love were told. Pursuit, trials, happy ends, and punishment as consequence of their choices. Often ending with one of the lovers transformed into something completely different from what they were. Explanations for where a tree or a flower got it's name. Idiomatic expressions coined from the alleged occurrences... And the change of the seasons. He has used it as one of his refresher references for his etymology topic in Literature. He was seeing things mostly on peripheral view now and was trying to focus on the genetics book he was reading through. Avoiding staring at her. Til he saw her take a seat right across him. From the next table. As she sat down, he thought he glanced her with her eyes widening for a moment. Probably from seeing him there. But...

"Good afternoon, Sir." She greeted in a level voice.

Okay. So maybe he was right. He looked up from his book and gave her a quick look. She was already starting to read. "Good afternoon..."

She positioned her book so that it covered half her face.

"Done with the exams so early?..." He spoke in a low voice. Hushed, but clear.

"Ah. Yes..."

"It's a surprise Arlert is not with you yet..."

". . ."

Shit. Levi stopped himself as he realized what kind of situation he just dragged himself into. He shouldn't open up a conversation. Distance. Remember?

"Umm..." Was that a faint flush on her face? "He's finishing up... I mean, that was how things looked like when I left. He tends to go over his paper several times before deciding to turn it in..."

"That's not a bad habit. Considering he doesn't take an absurdly long time to check things."

A smirk formed in her lips. "It is a problem from time to time."

"Hm. Everything has their pros and cons."

"...That they do." 

And there, their awkward situation leered at them. The blush on Mikasa's face faded. He wanted to smack himself right there. Shut up, Levi. Just fxcking shut up. 

He felt his hands go cold as they spent the next minutes in silence. He checked his watch and saw that he had to head to the university within half an hour. He stood up to return the books.

"You and your friends shouldn't stay out too late. You still have a week's worth of exams..." He grabbed his leather tote from the chair beside him and started on his way.

"Ah. Um, no. We have no such plans..."

He really had to leave before he does anything stupid.

"Hm. See you in class, Ms. Ackerman." 

He turned and left.

It was exam week, idiot. You won't be seeing her in class for a while. He wanted to punch himself in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
> Here we go. Up next, Mikasa's POV. *wink wink*


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the library moment...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually finished this just hours after I posted the previous chapter. Lol. But obsessive revision took over... (>3

He's gone... Probably headed to the university. Damn it... I can't even remember what I was reading anymore. I could swear my heart could be heard out loud from outside my body right now. God... 

"Hey, Mikasa..."

"Ah. Armin." I stiffened and shut the book close.

"Sorry. I decided to wait up for Eren before heading here. Are you going to take that book home?"

"Oh. No... I might end up just reading this instead of studying..." 

Armin chuckled. "Alright then. I'll join Eren outside while you put that back."

"Okay. I'll be out shortly."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they studied , Mikasa tugged her scarf closer to her face. Half-covering it. 

I was afraid I might be blushing...

"Hey Mikasa... Did something happen?" Eren looked me right in the eyes.

"Um..."

"Come on. Spill."

"He was at the library earlier... We talked."

"Oh. So what did you guys talk about?" Eren's eyes widened. Curiosity conspicuous.

"It was just small talk. Quiz week. How we shouldn't stay out late because of the exams..."

"Ah... Concerned, was he?" He teased.

I shrugged.

"That's it???" Eren pried, squinting.

"Oddly, he said 'See you in class'... But we only have exams for the week. Right?" I frowned as I tried to get back to studying. I noticed they were quiet for a bit and paused again to look at them...

Eren and Armin looked at each other and burst out laughing. 

"What?"

"Oh god. Mikasa... I think you made him nervous." Eren wiped a tear from his eye.

"WHAT."

"Well, you know how composed the man usually is. You think he'd make that kind of mistake?" Eren argued.

". . ."

"Looks like you do have an effect on him... Well, if the little gifts were not proof enough, this should be..." Armin chimed in. 

"I don't want to believe that..."

"Would it really be so terrible? If he reciprocated your feelings?" Armin asked...

"...I don't know. And I don't think I want to find out."

"Mikasa... If it's school policy you're afraid of, I think if anyone could pull off a secret relationship, it would be you guys."

"Relationship...? Eren. Who said anything about a relationship???" I shot Eren a glare.

Eren rolled his eyes. "We're graduating next school year. And you're turning 18 in a few months. So school policy and legal crap would soon be out of the scenario."

"WHA---"

"That's true. And you're both known for being discreet people. I doubt you guys would be the type to skip around town while being all over each other." Armin added.

"Armin? You too?" I shook my head... "Why are we talking about this??? We don't even know his side on this, you know?"

He shrugged. "Because it's a possible predicament. Something you should think about. And as for his side on this? That's the point, Mikasa. We don't know. So how can you assume that he doesn't feel the same way?"

"If he doesn't like you in the slightest bit, he would not be sending the gifts, Mikasa." Eren followed up.

"HOW THE HELL DID WE GET HERE? Why are you guys being such enablers about this?" The frustration was clear in my voice. I was stressed. 

"Because it makes sense." Eren answered.

"What???"

"You and him. It just...makes sense."

I have nothing. I don't have anything to say to that. I haven't thought very far and deep into my feelings. And my two best friends have. Damn it...

"Can we just study for now, and talk about this some other time?!"

"If you say so..." Eren shrugged. 

Armin gave me a smile of sympathy.

In the silence that followed, my mind went back to seeing him smile warmly towards the auburn-haired lady with the car. I felt a twinge of pain in my chest...

I didn't want to think of possibilities. Because that would make me hope. Hope will lead to expectation. 

And expectation often leads to pain. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days later...

 

As he handed over the paperbag to Armin, Levi drifted in his thoughts.

Maybe I should stop this. This will probably be the last gift I ever send her way. I never should have started this madness to begin with...

"Oh. Sir. I have something for you too." Armin presented him with a piece of paper.

What...

I took the paper and frowned as I saw what was scribbled on it. "Why are you giving me this?"

"You don't want it?" Armin smiled looking as innocent as he usually did. Like he was not an accomplice to a shady predicament. 

"Tell me. Why are you encouraging this, Arlert?"

"Because, in this, there is a potential of happiness for two people." Armin still had the smile on his lips but now with the seriousness in his eyes.

He did not know how to process that. In the life he grew up in, people usually do things for their own benefits.

"Sir... You know she could always just have easily gotten rid of the gifts if she didn't want them. She would have sent them back. She has turned other people down before. Just so you know." Armin snapped him out of his pondering.

As he processed the information, he felt his stomach churn. "Why would I want to know?" 

At that, Armin sighed and muttered. "Two peas..."

"What was that?..."

"Oh... Umm. ...nothing. I shall be on my way."

"Hm. Alright, then."

"Oh. And, Sir...?"

"Yes?"

"If you decide to dispose of that? Make sure no one would find it. A lot of others would scramble to get that information."

Armin had a sly side to him. He always knew the kid was smart. But he did not expect him to be sly... He knew I would end up keeping the thing with me, whatever I choose to do with what was written to it.

 

He was in the middle of typing up lesson plans when he decided to log into his social media accounts to check for messages. He only created them for communication purposes. Because calls and texts are apparently not the norm anymore. The piece of paper was basically screaming at him as it rested on top of his papers.

Shit. Am I really gonna do this?...

Maybe driving off a cliff is a better option than plunging deeper into this mess.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuun~  
> XD 
> 
> Levi keeps saying no, but does otherwise doesn't he? LMAO.  
> Love is not rational, man. You can deny it from everyone. But never to yourself.
> 
> Some development will happen next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gifts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you guys are going to like this one. LOL...  
> I won't give anything away. Just read on. :)

Matcha powder in a tin and a dozen white chocolate-chip macadamia cookies. The two would compliment each other very well. The tea, wonderfully bitter and mellow. The cookies, sweet and indulgent, but not cloying and heavy. Eren was more of a chocolate-chip cookies/ oreos and milk kind of person... So he wont try to boggart some of these. I am definitely sharing some with Armin tomorrow afternoon, though. 

Hm. Armin... Oddly, there seemed to be something with Armin earlier. But when I asked him about it, he told me he was just happy with his exam results. I sipped some of the delicious green tea and opened a tab on my browser...

 

Mikasa felt like she was going to have a heart attack. She had just logged on and what was there to greet her when she checked her messages?

 

Levi: Hi.

 

 

Holy shit.

I tried blinking a few times. To see if I was just hung over from that time we talked about him... But, no. This was real. This just happened.

SHIT. I opened it. He'd know I saw it.

I think my heart is going to fall out of my chest.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Levi went back to fixing the work he had finished, when he saw a little red sign pop up on the corner of his screen. He frowned. Until he saw who messaged him... His eyes widened. He did not know whether to thank Armin or curse him for that piece of paper. 

Because he was going deeper into hell, having Mikasa's contacts in his possession.

Mikasa: Hi...

"No..."

What did I just do? ... Shit. There was no going back now. 

It's okay, right? It's not like I'm gonna start talking to her in person now. I could just keep it here. I already threw myself into this pit, anyway... 

*Sigh*

Here we go...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Levi: How is your evening?

Mikasa: Well. I guess... 

Levi: Ah.

Mikasa: Nothing out of the ordinary, I mean.   
Except...

Levi: Yes?

Mikasa: Well...   
I received a small package today.

Levi: Oh...

Mikasa:  
Thank you...  
Not just for these.  
...also for the ones before them.  
The bookmark was nice too.

Levi: No problem...  
I hope you get to use it...  
The bookmark.

Mikasa: It's actually being used already...

Levi: Oh...   
What book are you reading?

Mikasa: Ehrm... An encyclopedia.

Levi: Doing research on anything?

Mikasa: Yeah...   
On the assignment you gave us.

Levi: Any luck?

Mikasa: Yes... I think I found enough data. 

Levi: Good.

Mikasa: I'm actually already done with the assignment...   
The bookmark is still there because I started reading about something else.

Levi: Doing some advanced reading?

Mikasa: Yes.  
Though, right now, I'm really just enjoying the tea and cookies.

Levi: Oh.   
I'm glad you liked them...

Mikasa: Thank you. Again.  
For these.

Levi: Do you have any favorite?...   
I mean, in particular.   
From all of those...

Mikasa: Oh.   
I liked all of them.

Levi: Really?

Mikasa: Well...  
I do like dark and white chocolate.   
With tea, I like every kind...  
At least, all of the ones I have tried...

Levi: Hmm...

Mikasa: I might be a little partial to green tea, though...

Levi: Anything else?

Mikasa: I don't really go around doing foodtrips. Or experiment. Unless my friends drag me into it.

Levi: Doing so won't be bad, once in a while...

Mikasa: I guess...

Levi: Unless some things make you really uncomfortable...

Mikasa: Nothing like that so far... Just some absurdly spicy noodles, by far...

Levi: Hmm. Yeager's doing?

Mikasa: Yes.

Levi: I am not surprised.

Mikasa: My brother is really adventurous.

Levi: I see.

Mikasa: It often gets him into trouble.

Levi: I hope you don't follow that example.

Mikasa: I try not to...

Levi: You should turn in...  
It's getting late.  
There's class tomorrow.

Mikasa: Oh. I didn't notice the time...  
Sorry.  
Goodnight...

Levi: You have nothing to be sorry about...  
Goodnight.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Mikasa kept re-reading their conversation. Double-checking if she made a fool of herself...

 

OH MY GOD. How am I supposed to sleep now?

Thank god this was not in person. Talking that much with him... I've never done that before... 

At least I finally got to thank him for the gifts... 

I can't help but wonder... Will there be a next time? Will he chat me up again? 

From the mirror on the dresser, I saw how red my face was.

 

Oh damn... How am I facing him tomorrow, during first period?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dark and white chocolate. Noted. I wonder which kinds of tea she hasn't tried before...

Crud.

I logged out before I got tempted to keep her up all night. The fact that we were not talking face to face made it too easy.

Set your limits, Levi. You're the adult in this. Be responsible.

Never forget. Your last attempt with letting your feelings take over, just led to disaster. You are not good with feelings. Don't throw it out there. Get a grip.

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I can't promise I'll update weekly / bi-weekly.  
> But I will try. TTwTT  
> There is still A LOT more to write in this story.  
> It's all planned out. LMAO.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry for the hiatus. I have been on a rollercoaster when it came to my stability as a person during those months. I had been sitting in the following chapters for the longest time. And I felt like they were not good enough. To be honest, I had the whole story fleshed out since the beginning and just never trusted my execution.
> 
> So yeah... After many months, here's a new chapter. :)

.  
.  
. 

 

On our way to school, I told Armin and Eren what had happened. I thought it would help me process things... They were silent for a bit, and then looked at each other.

"Don't tell me, you still don't believe us even now?" Armin furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at me.

"I don't know what to feel, really..."

"Or rather, you just don't want to feel. Right, Eren?..."

"Sorry. Still processing the image of Professor Ackerman using social media."

I hit Eren on the back of his head.

"WHAT?!" Eren grimaced. "It's not like we're talking about a normal human being here, Mikasa. Did he use emoticons or emojis or something? Come on. I wanna know."

"We're not talking about a normal situation either... And no, Eren. He did not."

"There's nothing wrong with caution. You're being too careful though... If someone much more guarded than you is taking risks, why wont you?" Armin countered.

"Because I don't believe that happiness is that easy, Armin. Things like that only happens in stories and movies. To get that in real life, you have to have been just really lucky. And I don't believe in luck, either. And somehow, I feel like if you do get to be THAT lucky, there has to be a catch."

Armin sighed. "And that kind of thinking, is why some people don't get their happy ending..."

"YEAP." Eren agreed.

God. I wish Armin didn't make sense...

I was left more torn and confused than I already was...

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As you passed me by, I was tempted to say 'Hi'... But I knew that would be foolish. And I wasn't sure if I had enough guts to do it, despite our exchanges that night. Talking to you in plain words, I can handle. But with you in front of me, looking the way you do with those steel blue eyes? I'm pretty sure I'd be a hot mess. Are you like this too, I wonder...? Whatever. I will say 'Hi' next time... Maybe. Yes. I would.

Armin gave me a nudge.

"Mikasa. Get one and pass."

"OH! Sorry."

Damn it. This is it, isn't it. I hated distractions. But I like being distracted by you.

I am in so much trouble...

Crap.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Mikasa. You should think about what we told you. But don't go as far as letting it distract you in class." Armin sighed.

"I know that, Armin... Don't worry. I can manage this." I tugged my scarf closer.

Armin nodded. "I believe that. Like you keep saying, it's not easy and very much not average..." He gave me a thoughtful smile.

"It's all just... Overwhelming. And this is without... ...discussing the real deal with him yet. And I don't want to bring it up. It's all too unreal. Not like with..." Her eyes drifted to Eren.

"Yeah. I know..." Armin looked at Eren's direction. But I was sure it was not Eren he was looking at. It was the stoic, blue-eyed, blonde girl next to Eren...

Armin knows. Armin really knows.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You are hell to my control. You really are. I only started conversing with you and it is already like this. I need to stay in line. The little gifts need to be paced too. GOD. Why did I let myself get into this mess? I thought I was done with feelings... Apparently, I had not learned my lesson. I am not sure what would be too far. I'm not sure what would be just right. I don't like uncertainties. 

But here I was. In the middle of another conversation with you. I'm happy. But is this really okay?

 

Levi: Good evening.

Mikasa: Good evening...

Levi: ...so what are you up to?

Mikasa: Tea. And just some light fact browsing...

Levi: Ah.

Mikasa: Umm...  
I was reading something and I wanted to look up some things from and about it...

Levi: Hmmm... I see.  
Found anything interesting...?

Mikasa: Yes... :)

Levi: Do you do that often...?

Mikasa: ...what do you mean?

Levi: Fact-check things from stuff you read?

Mikasa: Err... Yes.

Levi: Hmmm...  
Interesting.

Mikasa: Really?... How...?

Levi: Really. It means you won't settle for just what you already know...  
...I think that's great.

Mikasa: Ohhh...  
Ummm...  
Well... I can't exactly deny that I like finding out more about the things I'm interested in...

Levi: ...is that so? 

Mikasa: Yes...

Levi: I see...  
That's something we have in common, I guess.  
When I like something or someone, I try to find out as much as I can about it or them. 

Mikasa: You do...?

Levi: Yes...  
Like asking their preferences...  
...what kind of tea is their favorite.  
What snacks they like.  
What they often do.

Mikasa: Oh...

 

I wonder if it's humanly possible to punch yourself right in the face. The kind that's hard enough to knock yourself out. Because the moment I hit send on that one, that was what I wanted to do. 

Stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those who continued looking this fic up... Thank you.  
> I somewhat made a resolution to suck it up and do better on the things I write and draw. And I plan to start that by seeing this fic to the end... :)  
> I can't say for sure the pattern of the updates. But the next one is half-way done...


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things start from where you think they end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than it should...  
> But, here it is.

. . .  
Oh my god.  
What is happening.  
Shit.

I quickly open contacts to see if Armin was online.

 

Mikasa: ARMIN!!!

Armin: WHAT.

Mikasa: ...I think he just told me he likes me.  
WHAT DO I DO.

Armin: . . .

Mikasa: ARMIN!!!

Armin: ...what exactly did he say?

Mikasa:  
"I see...  
That's something we have in common, I guess.  
When I like something, I try to find out as much as I can about it."  
"Yes...  
Like asking their preferences...  
...what kind of tea is their favorite.  
What snacks they like.  
What they often do."

Armin: HAHAHA. You 'THINK' he told you he liked you.  
He did it so smoothly and here you are.  
OMG Mikasa. I'm crying.

Mikasa: ARMIN!!!

Armin: Oh, come on. You know it's funny.  
You get it, though. ...right?  
How do you feel?  
You can't leave him hanging.

Mikasa: I have strongly mixed feelings...  
I did reply... ...something.

Armin: What did you say?

Mikasa: "Oh..."

Armin: Mikasa...

Mikasa: I didn't know what to say!!!

Armin: Poor professor Ackerman...

Mikasa: ... 

Armin: Mikasa... Don't let him end up like Jean. Jean was lucky there was Marco.  
And you actually like this one, Mikasa.  
Come on...

Mikasa: ...I'm scared.

Armin: I'm pretty sure he is too.

*****DING!*****

Mikasa: Oh god... I think he sent another message. :(

Armin: You know you should be excited instead, right? :/ 

Mikasa: But...

Armin: He's gonna think you hate him now if you don't say anything else. And SOON. 

Mikasa: ...okay. 

 

I feel like my heart was gonna explode out of my ribcage. I took a deep breath and a sip of my cooling tea before 

opening the next tab... Damn it...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Levi: Crap...  
Did I make you uncomfortable?...  
I understand if this makes you feel weirded out or awkward.  
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said something like that.

Mikasa: No... It's okay.  
I mean...  
I just felt overwhelmed.  
I didn't know what to say.

Levi: I hope I didn't sound creepy. Though, it's totally acceptable for you to be creeped out.  
I'm your teacher after all.  
And old.

Mikasa: No.  
I'm not creeped out.  
Just very surprised.  
...you're not that old. 

Levi: Really. I'm not too old? 

Mikasa: You're not...  
I mean...  
I don't mind if you are. 

Levi: You don't?  
Because you should.

Mikasa: I can't be iffy with such things when my own dad was much older than my mother.  
...my real parents. 

Levi: I see.  
But, I'm your teacher.  
To be honest I shouldn't have done nor said anything.  
I should have just shut up. Suck it up. And went on with life.  
I didn't know why I went ahead and did that...

Mikasa: ...maybe so we can stop dancing around the issue.

Levi: There shouldn't have been an issue, in the first place.  
I was acting on my own from the start.  
The first time I sent you something, I expected to be rejected. STAT.  
I wasn't expecting anything, except that.

 

Mikasa: I couldn't reject it...

Levi: Why? 

Mikasa: Because I felt happy receiving them from you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. I lost confidence in my writing again. *slaps self*  
> I have also been focusing more on my art.  
> I'm trying to start some original works. 
> 
> Don't worry. I am adamant on completing this fic... TTwTT  
> I don't have plans of dropping this completely.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so many edits on this one. HAHA. I hope this one is to your liking because this one was very tricky for me...  
> This chapter will be short. But I'll make up for that on the next one.  
> Thank you for those who still keep tabs on this fic.

Dear lord. What have I done?  
You could have just blocked me online. You could have just shut me out. You could just hate me, so that it's easier on both of us. But no...

Well there's no going back, is there? You know I like you and you don't seem to want to run away... And I don't think I can push you away anymore either...

 

Levi: ...are you actually opening a door here? 

Mikasa: ...maybe.

Levi: As long as you are my student, I really should opt to stay away from you. 

Mikasa: I know...  
I know I should be doing that too.  
But I don't want you to.

Levi: Shit. This is insane. 

Mikasa: It is...  
But the cat's out of the bag for both of us now...

Levi: I never meant to really end up liking you... But I do.  
I also feel like you might not trust me about this because of the age thing.  
I'm also not sure you should. 

Mikasa: ...are you psychic?

Levi: So you think that way too. Yet... 

Mikasa: I have trust issues. And that's just really part of my personality.  
So of course, there is that voice in my head telling me this might be a bad idea.  
But I also know what I feel...

 

 

Is this how insanity is like??? Or am I really just falling for this girl, upon learning she's legitimately as cynical as I am? 

 

 

Levi: I really opened a can of worms here, didn't I?  
I really would have prefered you never entertained me, you know.  
It would have been less trouble for both of us... 

Mikasa: You claim to hate trouble so much, but you made the first move you know... 

Levi: I know.  
To be fair, I had help. 

Mikasa: You asked for that help. So... LOL.

Levi: I did... 

Mikasa: So what now, Professor Ackerman?... 

Levi: ...it won't be conventional.  
I can't promise normal. 

Mikasa: I can say the same. 

Levi: Alright then.  
I avoid impulse.  
But, you're amazing...  
And I want to get to know you better.  
Would you like to see where this goes, Mikasa? 

Mikasa: Just so we're clear.  
I am aware we would both be taking risks if we ever really do anything about this.  
I am not just getting swept along by you...  
I do like you too. 

Levi: I believe you.  
But I can't promise I'll stop worrying whether that really is the case.

 

Mikasa: Then the only thing I can do to convince you is to actually give this a shot right? 

Levi: Yes...

Mikasa: Then, let's give this a shot, Professor Ackerman.

Levi: Then from now on, we have to be on our best behavior on campus...  
And, that's Levi to you.

Mikasa: Alright then, Levi...

Levi: I'll see you tomorrow, Mikasa... 

 

 

Well then...  
I thought I have dug my grave the moment I asked Arlert to give you that first gift.  
I was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and this is where things start to get tricky. HAHAHA.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you guys are gonna like this one...  
> Well...  
> I hope...

I was up til late because I updated Armin. If we're gonna try to be closer and see where it takes us, we'd need an ally, right? And Armin had been there from the start. 

As we walked to school, we chatted in hushed voices. 

"Wait. So are you guys a couple now or what?" Eren struggled to keep his voice down. 

"No... At least, not yet. I think we're still working on that." 

"Well, that's good. No rush. Though that's probably just because you're still playing with legalities here..." 

"Yeah..." 

"But congratulations. You now know he legitimately likes you back. At least you have that." Eren beamed as he patted me on the head. 

"He actually said we need to behave in school..." 

"Did you expect less?" 

"No..." 

"Well, then. Just do as he says. "

"Hey, Eren---" 

"I know. I won't talk to anyone about it. Don't worry. You guys are keeping it together well enough that only Armin really notices. " 

"Yeah. You had no idea til we decided to tell you, after all." Armin chirped.

"Oh shut up." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

 

At the hallway... 

 

"Yeager. Ackerman. Arlert." 

"Ah. Good morning Professor Ackerman." 

"I trust you are all headed straight to class." 

"Yes, sir." 

"Good. Go on then. There will be a few announcements once everyone is settled in." 

 

Everyone stilled and the chattered died in to murmurs. A small but ever imposing figure came in.

 

"I know most of you are wondering why I'm here this early. So, I would not waste any time and tell you why. Since your advisor, has been sent away on a seminar. I will be your substitute for about a week. IF you have any complaints, say it to my face or take it to Principal Smith. I expect you all to cooperate with me." 

 

Mikasa's eyes widened. But otherwise, she looked calm. Armin looked at her with amusement. Adding two and two together. Eren mouthing an, 'Oh no'. And maybe a dozen 'WELP's from the others.

"Now. Since this is free period, and your classroom is in subpar condition... I want all of you to pick up either a rag, a broom, or a mop and do something about it..."

". . ."

Levi shot the whole class a look. 

And they all got moving. 

 

Their classroom had never been so clean. 

 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

 

Mikasa: You didn't mention that last night... 

Levi: The sub thing?

Mikasa: Yeah.

Levi: Well, I guess it's because we were busy talking about what I think was a more pressing matter.  
And, that I thought it would be an amusing surprise. 

Mikasa: . . . 

Levi: Yes. I am capable of jokes.

Mikasa: Oh god. Don't tell me I'm laughing so hard, you hear it there? 

Levi: I wish.

Mikasa: Really?

Levi: Yes...  
Come to think of it, I don't think I ever heard you laugh before.

Mikasa: That's because we never really conversed properly in real life before.

Levi: Yeah. And never long enough.  
At least, never long enough to broach into amusing topics... 

Mikasa: Well, now we have that.

Levi: True. 

Mikasa: Come to think of it...  
Do you laugh?  
Sorry. Curious.

Levi: ...yes.  
Rarely. But, yes. 

Mikasa: Ohhh.

Levi: Does that amuse you?

Mikasa: Immensely. 

Levi: Does that mean you're going to take your shot at that? 

Mikasa: Hmmm. I don't know.   
I don't think I've actively tried to amuse or entertain people enough to get them laughing.   
I mean I have had shenanigans with Eren and Armin. But it's more like they're just laughing at my reactions, or lack of it. Rather than me actively enciting laughter. 

Levi: I think you'd be capable enough to induce a smile.

Mikasa: Really?

Levi: Really.

Mikasa; Does that mean you're smiling right now? 

Levi: Maybe.

Mikasa: Hmmm...

Levi: Hmm?

Mikasa: Nothing. 

Levi: Curious, aren't you? 

Mikasa: Yes. 

Levi:  
\---Picture sent---

Mikasa: Oh my god.  
Did you just take a selfie???

Levi: Don't let anyone know I am capable of such a thing.  
This didn't happen. 

Mikasa: Oh my god.   
Pffft.   
Like I'd tell anyone. 

Levi: Well you do confide with Arlert, right? 

Mikasa: Well, yes. But...  
This one, I'm definitely gonna keep to myself. 

Levi: You better.

Mikasa:   
\---Picture sent---

Levi: Hmmm.  
A wink...  
You know they make emojis for that, right?

Mikasa: Just returning the favor. :p  
...and did you just divulge that you know the existence of emojis? 

Levi: I know of them. Doesn't mean I use them. 

Mikasa: LOL.

Levi: Not sure if I will ever use them, either.

Mikasa: Hmmm.  
Well. No one is forcing you. I doubt anyone can influence you enough to use them anyway.  
LOL. 

Levi: Hilarious.  
Now, go to sleep. Like the good student you are. 

Mikasa: Yessir. 

Levi: Good night.  
Sleep well... 

Mikasa: Good night.  
You too...

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

I have a picture of you. Oh my god. 

And you are smiling. 

It's dark in your room. But those steel-blue eyes are still so clear. Like you're actually looking at me through the image. 

Be still, my heart. 

 

 

.   
.   
.   
.   
.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .  
> .  
> .  
>  HIII.  
> I disappeared for quite a while again.  
> I was struggling because I can't seem to go back to the voice I wanted to use wiritng this fic...  
> Anyway... I will try to update faster starting from now on.  
> Thank you to those who still keep tabs on this little work of mine.  
> Bless you. 
> 
> OH.  
> And I will be working on the artwork of their pics too, soon.  
> I have other fandom WIP artworks to finish. But I will link em here as soon as they are done. :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM STILL ALIVE.  
> I apologize this took so long. RL has been kicking me in the ass hard since after I posted the previous chapter.  
> I hope this chapter makes up for my absence.  
> Thank you for still keeping tabs on this.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.

 

I've forgotten the last time I actually did consider a morning, a good morning. I guess a good yesterday, a night well spent, enough sleep and good coffee is a good formula for it.

I glance at my fone as I drank my coffee and had to stop and sigh. The temptation to use your picture as a lockscreen was high. But having to hide it, makes it more special, doesn't it?

Simple joys, as it is. 

I just hope this ain't too good to be true.

Would it be okay to ask for more than this?...

Would it be okay to have more than this...? 

Shit. You caught a messed up fish, Mikasa. So sorry.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

How have I managed to sleep through that? ...I don't know. But checking on my phone now? Proof that that wasn't just a dream, or a figment of imagination. 

I saw you smile.   
I made you smile.   
And you smiled just for me.   
You gave me your smile. 

If I was the type of girl to scream into a pillow due to glee, I would have. But I'm not, though. But, I do have to remind myself to blink whenever I look at the damned picture.

Going straight to the loo, I splashed water on my face to officially start the day.

 

 

L  
\---Good morning.---  
\---Don't be tardy.---

 

Mikasa almost dropped her phone. 

The person whose picture was open on her phone just sent her texts. 

M  
\---Good Morning.---  
\---Copy that.---

 

Oh god. In my head, I can clearly see you smirking similarly to the picture as you sent. I know how that looks like now.   
Good morning, indeed.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

The morning classes passed quickly. The activities wiping people out and the lunch time bell was a welcome relief. Hanji practically flopped onto the next cubicle's desk. Apparently. There was disaster at the lab during college Biology. TSK. While normally, Hanji would have watched the chaos in glee. But Erwin happened to be on that floor the time disaster broke out. 

 

L   
\---Hey. Get decent lunch. Don't let Jaeger drag you into eating some weird junk.---

M  
\---My meal is as decent as cafeteria fare gets, sir. Besides. People rarely see you eat out of the faculty office. Do you even practice what you preach?---

L   
\---As decent as cafeteria fare gets, Miss.---  
M   
\---PFFFT.---

L   
\---Okay. Enough time on your phone---  
\---Time to be a model student.--- 

M   
\---Just so you know, I'm rolling my eyes rn.--- 

L  
\---Figured.---   
\---Still. Off the phone. Now.--- 

M   
\---Roger. -A- ---   
\---And you. Time to be a model teacher. ;p ---

L   
\---You don't have to tell me, Ackerman.---  
\---And cut down on the emojis. You cannot sway me.--- 

 

Well. Rather... You cannot sway me more than you already have.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Hey Mikasa..." Eren waves a hand between my face and my fone. "We were talking to you."

Okay. Maybe he was right. Time to get off the damned thing.

"Yeah?" 

"I was just wondering... Have you guys ever discussed how you're gonna eventually go out...? On dates, and stuff..." Eren pressed.

"...No. And I don't think that is even possible yet." 

"But you must want to, right?" Armin chirped in.

"Well, yes. But... It's dangerous for us to be seen together." I fiddled with my phone strap.

"That's true. But that just means you just need to carefully plan the whens and the wheres." Armin said with such appalling non-chalance.

After recovering from surprise from the glimpse of Armin's mischievous side...   
"Don't make it sound easy, Armin. I feel like even doing that is too risky. We see each other in person most of the week anyway. Even if we don't really talk in person... It's fine. I'm happy." 

"I think it's important you do, though. I'm not telling you what to do... Just that, maybe it's something you guys could discuss before time gobbles up the opportunity..." 

Eren nods. Trying to exude wisdom and failing.

"I'm just going to wait for him to bring it up, himself. He's the one with the most at risk, after all." 

"Also... There are always ways." 

"ARMIN!" 

"Just saying."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.

 

Levi: What are you doing on this weekend? 

Mikasa: I don't know. Probably quiet time at home. 

Levi: I see. 

Mikasa: You?...

Levi: Probably the same.   
The university break finally started. So I temporarily have most of my weekends back. 

Mikasa: OHH.   
Sometimes I forget how their breaks and shiznit differ from ours. 

Levi: Everything is still pretty routine to me, really. 

Mikasa: You have your schedules memorized, that much??? 

Levi: More like, it's predictable at this point.   
Routine. 

Mikasa: So does that get you bored? 

Levi: Sometimes.   
But the breaks give me time to go out for books and tea. 

Mikasa: Well, that seems nice at least. 

Levi: I guess it is...   
It's sort of becoming routine too, though. 

Mikasa: Well, we all need a break from routines from time to time. Or else, it will drive you nuts. 

Levi: Probably why I got the nuttiest ideas, as of late. 

Mikasa: Like what? 

Levi: Getting involved with a student. 

Mikasa: WELP. 

Levi: Got a little out of hand on the routine breaking, right? 

Mikasa: More like rule-breaking though. 

Levi: Law-breaking even.   
Don't worry. I know the grave I am digging. 

Mikasa: Well... I won't really be your student anymore in less than a year. 

Levi: But right now you still are.   
And you're still a bit shy of legal age, if I am guessing right. 

Mikasa: Yes... You're right.

Levi: You're a student. Graduating soon...  
You have entrance exams coming up. I don't want to be a distraction. 

Mikasa: I can manage. Believe me.

Levi: That's what'S scary. I believe you.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Just when I thought I wouldn't show vulnerability to anyone anymore. 

You hit me like a storm, Mikasa.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \----------------------------------------------------  
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND, there we go.  
> The next chapter would be mostly Levi's POV. :p 
> 
> You can keep tabs on me via @ChucklesTheMime on Twitter. @veninschwarz / @putosinthesis on Tumblr.  
> I would likely post whatever art I produce for this fic there too. :)


End file.
